We like to think our path, once found, is a constant movement forward – pretty much a straight line. It isn’t. Like any interesting path, it zigzags, turns in circles, goes backwards, forwards, and even side to side. A recent experience reminded me of this.
Not quite 3-1/2 years ago, I started chemotherapy. I realized very quickly that I’d created the cancer to work on some deeply rooted and excruciatingly painful issues.
I used the chemo treatments to go deeper and deeper into my energetic system – even working on cellular and genetic levels. My cancer adventure was an amazing period of personal growth. I made great strides and completed a significant cycle.
I finished the chemo. The cancer was gone. My lessons were learned. The issues were resolved. NOT!
About a month ago, I noticed some thick, black, tar-like energy in my pelvic area – a lot of it. It was painful; it was nasty; it had “cancer” plastered all over it. As a cancer survivor there is nothing more frightening than noticing the energetic presence of cancer in my system. True, it wasn’t the actual disease, but it was the energy that shows up as the disease gets ready to start. It terrified me.
I could easily have viewed this as a step backward or a random zigzag off my path. Here was the same energy I’d worked to clear, back again. Instead, I started to heal myself. The idea of another cancer generated so much fear this was hard to do. Because of this, I went at it sideways and just worked on the fear.
After about two weeks, the black tar was closer to dark brown goo; less scary, but still quite nasty. I asked my friends for help. They saw what I couldn’t see through my fear: the energy was coming from the marrow of my bones. It was being “replenished” in my pelvis almost as fast as I was clearing it away because I wasn’t clearing it from the source. With help, the brown goo quickly dissipated.
The cancer energy is gone, but my path took a definite zigzag. Revisiting my cancer issues was a detour along my path, not a departure from it. The energy I released stirred up hidden areas of pain stored in the large muscles of my back, my jaw, my ears, and even the roof of my mouth. Pain I can now work to heal.
When your path detours – if you decide take a less direct route, for example electing to go around rather than through pain – be gentle with yourself. Personal growth is about learning and about being human. While it is often about love, it isn’t always logical, rational, or linear.